The last lunch...
TGIF! I had lunch with Boobie2 today. It's the last meal with my bud for a while. Looks like I'll be making a trip to Syracuse in the future. I love Johnny Corino's. Good italian food, excellent company. I had a lovely day away from work. It's kinda crazy, I didn't even miss the place. I usually fret about taking time off, I hate putting my responsibilities onto someone else. But today was a little different.
Lil' llama was out of school for Fall Break today. We had a great time, hanging out, chatting about random teenage bullshit. It's amazing how the youth can keep you young.
Okay, now the serious stuff...
Am I a narcissist? I have read this word over and over the past few days. I have pondered this question all evening. Yeah, sure, vanity is one of my strongest personality traits. But narcissism? I think that may be a little drastic. If the most common trait of this disorder is caring only for yourself, without regard to consequences or the feelings of others, than count me out. I think I constantly put the feelings of others, especially my children, way ahead of my own. Realistically, I could give a shit less about the folks in line with me at Wal-Mart, but I often help the old folks in the parking lot put away their buggies.
My parents are the most selfless people I know. They would do anything for anyone. I guess that's reverse narcissism. (I don't feel like looking up the exact term for that disorder.) I spent four years in a relationship, giving the other person everything, and getting nothing in return. Fuck that. I never want to be that person again, ever. It's that old saying, "looking out for number one." If I have learned on thing in the past 34 years (gasp) it's this: No one, but no one will evere take care of me, but me. I teach my daughter the same thing. If that makes me a narcissist, than go ahead, give me that label, and I will wear it proudly. It beats the hell out of wearing your heart on your sleeve and getting screwed by everyone around you.
Quote for the day: "The old dreams were good dreams. They didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them." - Clint Eastwood, Bridges of Madison County
posted by Jill at
10:03 PM
2 Comments:
Boobie2 will miss you!
Come up anytime. Seriously.
I once read a book that opened my mind to many things. It "woke me up". It was called "The Handbook to Higher Consciousness". Even though it sounds all New-Age like, it was a wonderful book of learning based on Eastern Philosophy...and...it was written in 1975, well before the New-Age movement of the late '80's. There were several principles of daily thinking listed in the book. One of the principles was, "You have now and have always had everything you need to be happy". By saying that, the author meant that happiness is found within, and ONLY within one's own self. We can not find it in chemicals, money, or other people. As women, we are taught from a young age that our happiness lies in finding the "right man". Just wait for your knight to ride up on his BMW and save you. What a crock of shit! Happiness is only within...not without...
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